Saturday, December 31, 2011
its the new year. 2012.

who would have guessed. me working my butt off at one of the largest media firms in singapore. i have many people to be appreciative for including the father from above. he sends me people at every step of the way, to guide to nurture and learn from and most importantly to show me a new perspective.

I have been thinking about whats next for the past couple of weeks now. looking at who i am, whats happening and what are the options but they seem to be clouded. it was pretty simple growing up. study as hard, go into the army and study somemore and work. then what?

is it all there is to it. i hope not. i wrote in a birthday message to kai, "anything is possible, all you need is desire" it sounds great, ideal and at the same time downright fluffy. change has got to start somewhere.

ive got many unanswered questions still in my head. the what and the how ones. it scares the shit out of me.

on a side, my dreams have taken the front seat. it makes all this useless toying around with matters of the heart seem so trivial. its all a distraction. a nice one at times. adios until i not know when.

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
2:26 PM
Monday, March 21, 2011
2010 has come and gone its now 2011. a quater way through actually. im done with curtin. im moving to a new phase in life. the one i will be stuck with for the majority of my life. i cant wait to earn though.

but thats not the issue now. the issue now, is that shes in europe. too far away. gone for another 8 days, not counting the number of days it would take for her to actually meet me.

i dont want to seem desperate, i thought i could handle it. but it seems my ability to distract myself isnt as good as it used to be. we never know a good thing until its gone.

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
10:48 AM
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
i wanna do so many things but, i need people to commit too.

- form a band and perform.
- write my own song
-shoot another music video
-write and direct a short film.
-start the whampoa independent

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
12:11 PM
Friday, July 09, 2010
it really kills me you know, to see you like that. I dont know why its so hard to look the other way. I cant stop beating myself up over the fact that its my fault. Its my fault your in this state. If i never had met you. If i had never had said those three words. If i never held your hand. Life would have been simpler. It wont come to an ultimatum. Its either this or that.

I feel guilty. Like a just dumped a load in a can and the flush wont work. Pity the person who has to clean it up. Pity the next occupant. Im guess im a cold rock. Heartless. Emotionless. Carefree.

We humans are silly creatures. We put ourselves through stuff well knowing its going to be tough. Well knowing its shitty. Knowing we dont know what to do when shit hits the fan. I guess im lucky to have seen life gone right. I guess your unlucky to have not. Your scarred. Torn. Afraid. Thats why hate. Thats why your angry.

Dont encourage this self fulfiling prophecy of failure and death. Dont take this world so seriously. There are so many things wrong with this world. Why be part of the things that make this world a place to hate.

I dont believe to be any expert. I dont believe to know. I only know what ive seen, what ive experienced what i learnt from the ones before. It isnt a mathematical formula but it aint a hoax. There is this thing to family and i have much belief in it.

I pray for you.

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
5:31 AM
Thursday, June 24, 2010
i just had been in the mood to think about wedding photography. thinking about my current situation with bernie boy honestly frustrates me. he used me fro two weddings, got me to teach him wireless flash. comes to me for exposure advise. screws up the photo editing and then calls me and tells me the couple doesnt like the shots? like its my fault. come one free labour. after the first half of the first wedding, i was teaching u more about photography. now you are gonna pay me $200 for every other wedding? even after giving much discount to an events company i could still pull $600 bucks for 2 and a half days work. converted to "AD" timings thats, about 2 full wedding days. and wedding photography is supposed to be better paid? gosh this industry is going to be hard to break into, with cocks offering to do weddings for $200 bucks a pop. every damn thing in. succkas with kit lenses and plastic 500ds or nikon d60s.

okay nothing against such cameras or people who use them but, please dont spoil market. i just feel a kind of mix up of angry and frustrated and cluless at the moment. its like chilli and garlic grinded up but then u go ahead and add ice-cream. u know its wrong and u dont know how to fix it.

on a random note. ive been watching top gear so much im considering becoming a motoring journalist. hurrah!

tomorrow or rather today is the day before take off. in fact in about 24 hours from now, i will be at changi airport. waiting for my flight to hanoi. good luck to me.

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
2:33 PM
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
ive been away for awhile now,

many many things have happened since the last post.

- i have finally ORDed
- going to study at curtin singapore. im terribly terribly afraid of it. honestly, im scared shit about whats gonna happen.
- im going for my vietnam trip this sat. very excited to say the least. its gonna be funny when someday i will come back and read this having already gone for the trip.

status quo could be better but i aint going to be demanding. im a generally easily satisfied person. this doesnt mean i settle. the word i believe is grateful. i dont loathe in how much life sucks, i embrace it as challenges i guess. there is no good without evil, no spring without winter, no night without day. if there werent any things we hated that life threw at us. how are we going to appreciate the simple pleasures and joys in life.

well i leave now probably coming back here like never. hahaha

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
9:39 AM
Sunday, September 13, 2009
the last time this happened it was about a year ago. the passing of my grandfather G.edward. in recent years i really didnt have the opportunity to get the know the man, for reasons which are unimportant. i however did manage to see him twice before his passing. i remember walking into his flat, him lying there still. dead people generally look asleep.

today is the funeral. the last few days have been rather emotionally different from the previous encounter with death in the family. please do pray for his soul.

warning. this blogger is an idiot.
7:22 PM